The Rapture: I'd heard a limited amount of the buzz surrounding these guys in the UK, but hadn't really paid attention to them until Sir Tim Finney described them as "Echo and the Bunnymen fronted by Robert Smith". This is such a dead-on description of their breakthrough single "House Of Jealous Lovers" that I'm kicking myself repeatedly for not finding out more about them earlier. Even better, though, is the fact that their follow-up single "Olio" sounds like F.U.S.E fronted by Robert Smith. I AM DEEPLY OBSESSED WITH THIS BAND NOW.

You can judge for yourself by listening to the Real Audio clips here. The singer really does sound like a younger version of Robert Smith, though, so if you hate his vocals you might want to take a few minutes to prepare yourself before diving into the aural wonderfulness.

Ali and His Gang vs. Mr. Tooth Decay: I have discovered the best MP3s on the Internet, better even than that site about the Bugaloos that I found last week that I forgot to blog about. Who knew that Ali the Champ was responsible for cracking the Liberty Bell? Who knew that Frank Sinatra wanted kids to lose their teeth by eating ice cream? As an added bonus, there's a fight between Muhammed Ali and Mr. Tooth Decay narrated by HOWARD COSELL. I mean, look at this thing (click for larger picture):

BEST ALBUM EVER!!!

Semen 'makes women happy': I am now convinced that the reason life exists on Earth is to generate ridiculous stories for my amusement.

Where's Waldo? Please believe me when I say that this is absolutely worth your time. This link is best viewed with a sound card.

How Jedi Are You?

:: how jedi are you? ::

You have no idea how happy I am right now.

Cat Boxing:What's cuter than domesticated cats slapping each other silly? NOT MUCH, I TELL YOU.

Disturbing link of the week: Here's an idea for you last-minute Father's Day shoppers!

Twee link of the week: Have you felt that your life was incomplete without a web-animated kitten singing a love song to a Cubist's idea of a puppy? Click this link and achieve nirvana.

Anyone out there who knows Ned Raggett will appreciate this one:

Emined LIVES!

Picture of the week:

oh NO!!!!!

Taking Sides: Police brutality or criminally negligent parenting?

STEAL THIS LINK: I actively encourage everyone who stumbles across this page to put this link on your own site. The more people we can attract to this thread via Google, the better.

WHY DAN PERRY IS A HORRIBLE FRIEND:

- I've forgotten at least three birthdays so far this month. (Happy brithday, Theo! Happy birthday, Jeff! Happy birthday, Liza!)
- I have neglected to write back friends who have attempted to keep in touch with me. (Hi Sara! Hi Amber!)
- I have mooched horribly off of co-workers in bars because I'm too broke to buy a round of drinks.
- I have seen the future, and it will be.
- I promised Poem-Cees CDs to people and never sent them. (Hi Simon! Hi Jeff! Hi John!)

This all ends today. Today I shall get off of my lazy behind and get back in touch with people. I will begin compiling stuff I've promised to people. I will start writing more, both fiction and non-fiction. I will FINALLY redesign this horrible-looking site and put up my current concert information. (ON THIS FRONT: Boston Pops, May 31 & June 1; 7:30 PM. Hear me sing John Williams along with 59 other people!)

I've said this before, but I really mean it this time.

Hats of Meat: Yet another reason why I love the Internet.

Tom's top ten looks like it could be my top ten. Busta Rhymes and Ludacris? Steely Dan? OUT OF MY MIND, EWING!

Charlotte Church admits 'loving her bum': Oh my dear lord. If this isn't concrete evidence of the end of the world, I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS.

"Nasty, put some clothes on!" Anyone who knows how I feel about Anna Kournikova ("She's not that great a tennis player; she hasn't even won a tournament! On top of that, she's really plain. The only reason people are gaga over her is because she's a blond Russian; the number of more attractive female tennis players on the tour is kind of staggering. Etc, etc etc.") will understand the intense glee this story brings me. Put that one in yer portfolio, sweetie.

FEAR: I've received many disturbing things via email, but very few of them could compare to this. The only thing I can say is THANK GOD there were no pictures to go along with that.

Random music update: Angie Stone is wonderful. "Wish I Didn't Miss You" takes the Curtis Mayfield sound and plants it firmly in the 21st century, particularly with the club remixes. This song deserves to be MASSIVE. Also, heard one of the remixes of "For My People" on the radio the other day and couldn't help dancing like that girl in the car commercial (you know which one I'm talking about).

Lisa "Left Eye" Lopez, RIP: HORRIBLE news. TLC were always a sentimental favorite; even though I don't have any of their albums, their singles were always on point. Plus, Left Eye's solo album was pretty remarkable. It's really a shame; she was barely a year older than me.

NME made Pap Roach frontman lose Dick: This is easily my favorite headline of the day.

The indestructible sandwich: I would only eat one of these things if I had an indestructible colon.

Eeek. Just to keep up the posting frenzy, click on the link to hear wanton abuse of the Pokemon license. Truly frightening.

More David Hasselhoff action: Ever wonder what David Hasselhoff's version of "Hooked On A Feeling" would sound like? How about the video; what's that all about? Click on the link and find out!

Madonna art condemmed:

Howson has also completed a number of nude Madonna sketches. One of the most detailed - a sketch depicting Madonna next to the head of John the Baptist - is being auctioned online.

Click HERE to place a bid.

Um, no thanks.

More Prodigy news: Links from the previously-blogged entry led me to this UTTERLY PRICELESS gem of academic stupidity. I wish I could get a government grant to inject mice with speed and play "Smack My Bitch Up" at full volume at them until their hearts stopped.

New Prodigy single title revealed: Allegedly, it's going to be called "Baby's Got A Temper". More worrying news lies in the idea that Liam and company have decided to put more emphasis on vocals this time around. Boys, boys, boys: you are at your best when you spin bootylicious chipmunk hardcore. Reinventing yourself as serious lyricists will put you on the fast track to Underworldesque levels of pomposity. Do not forget that the DANCE COMES FIRST.

(I should point out that none of my concerns will stop me from trying to get my hands on their newest release as soon as humanly possible.)

The Camel Toe Report: Okay. I know it's Easter and this is probably blasphemous and all, but I HAVE TO SHARE THIS LINK. There's nothing I can say that could make this site funnier. Just click (but not at work).

News flash: Joei has been accepted at Longy School of Music and Boston Conservatory. If anyone sees me out on the street corner offering myself to strangers for cash, well, baby needs tuition...

Best... picture... EVER: I defy anyone who clicks on this link to disagree.

"I'm just killing time": I tasked myself with doing some straightening around the condo this evening before Joei got back from her dress rehearsal, but I've grown weary of throwing away old piles of mail. I would much rather talk about music instead. Of course, since this is purely for procastination's sake, I don't have a band in mind to spark the old creative juices, so I have to resort to skimming the CD rack and seeing what grabs my fancy.

Let's see here... Odelay! by Beck? No, I refuse to talk about this album. I'm not going to change anyone's mind on it; it's one of those records that you either love or hate. Furthermore, people have discussed this album to death. People were so convinced of Beck's genius after this record came out that he had no choice but to disappear up his own ass in a self-defensive fit of ego-stroking. I'm not going to add to that train wreck, nosiree.

Moving on... I notice I Just Can't Help It by The English Beat. I bought this album solely for the song "Mirror In The Bathroom". Actually, I'm going to play that song now that I'm thinking about it. It's absolutely classic; all of the promise of ska wrapped up into one infectious, extremely danceable package. I was probably eight or nine when I first heard this song (thanks to an older brother who was discovering New Wave). It definitely lives in a special place in my heart; you can dole out equal blame to English Beat and John Coltrane for my later interest in the saxaphone. In fact, I'm sitting in front of the computer now with the goofiest smile on my face as I nod my head to the beat. I was about to decry the lack of songs like this on modern radio, but then I remembered No Doubt's "Hey Baby", undoubtedly one of the top ten singles of 2002 so far. It's good to remember why I initially twigged onto No Doubt when they first came out; after a period of slogging through the doldrums of proving they were, like, SERIOUS MUSICIANS, they seem to have remembered that the reason they picked up their instruments in the first place was because they liked to party. Nowadays, I'm finding it rare to find unapologetically fun songs on the radio, so hearing No Doubt return to their roots is captivating to me.

Moving on from English Beat, I'm going to stroke my ego a little bit and play a song recorded at the last Concordia Society concert where I had a solo. The song, "Trois Beaux Oiseaux du Paradis" by Maurice Ravel, is an absolutely gorgeous a capella number with oodles and oodles of lush harmonies that features a soprano soloist, but has little bits for an alto, tenor and BARITONE. I don't mean to sound egotistical, but MAN did I nail that baritone solo! Listening to things like this adds ammo to the little voice inside of me that keeps saying, "SCREW your day job, go all-out with the singing thing!" Then, I remember that we have bills to pay and sanity reasserts itself. At any rate, if Joei is successful, then I'll be able to live a life a relative leisure which will allow time to do more singing. YAY! (No pressure, honey.) Okay, I have to take this off before I break my arm patting myself on the back.

"Shake Dog Shake" by The Cure. I haven't heard this song in AGES. Man, it's just as brilliant as it was the first time I heard it. I remember that very well; I was 16 and had just grabbed a copy of the tape at a local record store. The only thing I knew about The Top was that its single was "The Caterpillar", so I was approaching this album with the expectation it was going to be a frothy, sunny romp. OH HOW WRONG I WAS. From the opening drum rool, my attention was ensared. I played that cassette five times straight through, marvelling at how disjointed the songs were. But, even as the differences leapt out at me, I couldn't imagine ten songs that fit together quite so well as the ten songs on this album. There was a good long period of time where I wasn't sure if my favorite Cure album was The Top or Pornography. The presence of "Siamese Twins" eventually tipped the scales for Pornography, but listening to the deranged guitar harmonics and pounding drums of this song makes me wonder if I made the correct decision...

Hmm, after ten o'clock. I need to go now. How funny; I'm certain this is the longest entry I've ever written to this blog and I didn't even know what I was going to say before I sat down. I'm sure tomorrow I'll have an editing frenzy fixing typos and fleshing out disjointed thoughts, but at the moment I'm thinking that that nothing gets the old fingers typing quite like vodka. (No Mom, I'm not an alcoholic. Stop worrying. Heh, it's not like you read this site, anyway.)

Leftfield split: Is there anyone left in the world who actually gives a damn about Leftfield?

Quickie update: Joei and I had a Seraphim Singers concert this past Sunday. It went extremely well; Joei got to perform her solo and did a stellar job at it. (The piece we were doing where I had a solo wasn't part of yesterday's program.) I've encouraged two friends from college to join the group, which excites me to no end.

Joei's living the whirlwind jet-set life; she jumped in the car this afternoon so that she could make an audition tomorrow morning at Manhattan School Of Music, then comes back for an opera rehearsal Tuesday night. The opera, a Lowell House Opera production of "Carmen" staged in modern times, goes up on Thursday (which reminds me; I need to get a ticket for the premiere).

I don't have anything big to say on the new music front. The new Boards Of Canada is brilliant, but I need to give it some time to sink in. (Expect a review at some point.) I also need to overhaul the design of this site, since huge chunks of it are out-of-date. So, that's gonna happen sometime this month, too.

Proud to be an American: Here's a tasty link from the BBC chronicling some of the stupid things Prince Phillip has said. This makes me feel a little better about Dubya. (Only a little, though.)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JOHN JUSTEN. It is criminal that we've lost touch the way that we have. If you stumble across this page, EMAIL ME. I want to know what's going on with you, yo.

Tim is the man: That track by Tweet is the greatest song released this year that wasn't "Hey Baby".

ALBUM REVIEW: CHEMICAL BROTHERS - Come With Us

I read a recent interview with the Chemical Brothers where they talked about how pleased they were with their third album, Surrender, and how they had to consciously stop comparing the tracks they were recording for their fourth album to that allaegdly perfect masterwork. All I can say to that is "THANK GOD". A couple of tracks aside ("Out Of Control", "Hey Boy Hey Girl"), I thought that Surrender was a gigantic pile of toss. It was a limpid retread of themes which had been percolating in the Chemical Brothers' recordings since 1993. In turning their back on what they consider to be their most perfect work, the Chems have come up with the album I was expecting Surrender to be.

The first half of the album is flawless. The woozy swagger of "Come With Us" blends beautifully into the dubby disco-house stylings of "It Began In Afrika". This leads to a retooled version of "Galaxy Bounce" from the Tomb Raider (now with an ending!) and one of the highlights of the album, the woozy haze of their current single, "Star Guitar". Words can't describe how great this track is. It easily compares to their best efforts; in fact, this is the track that delivers on the promise hinted at by "It Doesn't Matter" from Dig Your Own Hole. Things mellow out a little bit with the subdued electro workout "Hoops", then things pick back up with the demented music box that makes up the main hook of "My Elastic Eye". Beth Orton makes her now-obligatory appearance on the gloriously trippy "The State We're In", which leads into "Denmark", a bouncy house number filtered through the Chemical world view. This barrells straight into the sine-wave workout "Pioneer Skies, itself merely an appetizer for ending track "The Test", featuring Richard Ashcroft in one of the strongest things he's recorded since leaving The Verve.

The main thing going for this album is its diversity. All of the tracks have a distinct sound and style, yet somehow they all come together as a cohesive unit. I can't think of a better way of sequencing this album, nor can I think of any tracks that sound out of place or awkward. Best of all, the entire album clocks in at just under an hour, entertaining you without exhausting you. I was terrified that the Chems had completely lost the plot when they released Surrender. I'm happy to report that Come With Us proves they've still got what it takes to release quality material.

DAN'S RATING: GRREAT!

Venus Williams, #1: We all knew this was going to happen eventually. Three cheers to the fierce ruling diva of the Grand Slam circuit. She really deserves it, IMO. (The less said about that outfit she's wearing, the better. Borrowing something from Shakira may not have been the move for this ceremony.)

Congrats are due: My lovely and talented wife won her first competition as a classical soloist last night. Go Joei!

Mos Def, actor: The most surprising thing about this article is the revelation that Mos Def was an actor before becoming an MC. Given the number of musicians who have begun chasing box-office fame, it's easy to assume that they all have similar backgrounds (ie, none) and motivations ($$$$) for trying to break into film. Brings home that saying about assumptions; they make an "ass" of "u" and "mptions".

Update frenzy: I have a new pop star to mock: SHAKIRA. The Columbian songstress is finally achieving crossover success in America by, well, becoming a bigger slapper than Christina Aguilera and singing nonsensical songs. Even after granting special dispensation because English isn't her first language, the lyrics to "Underneath Your Clothes" are, at best, goofy and painful. The schmaltzy Herb Ritts video that accompanies it is merely icing on the cake of badness.

I can't fully hate on Shakira, though; anyone who can sing the lines "Lucky that my breasts are small and humble/So you don't confuse them with mountains" and maintain a straight face gets big absurdist points from me.

Brandy marries Robert Smith! Strange but true!

Hervé Villechaize fans, CLICK HERE. If you have no idea who Hervé Villechaize is, bone up on your Fantasy Island trivia, then go to that link. (WARNING: It's a QuickTime movie.)

Oh my! These are laugh-out-loud funny ideas for fake children's books. Don't look at these at work unless you know you won't get into trouble; I almost hurt myself attempting to stifle raucous laughter.

Get the balance right: Just to be fair, here's an awful picture of a tennis player I like:

For your enjoyment: I present a wildly-unflattering picture of Martina Hingis!

MinorDomesticAccidents.com is one of the funniest sites I've ever been directed towards. The video section is RIDICULOUS.

"I'll f*** you 'til you love me, b****! By now, the news about the Tyson/Lewis brawl is fairly old-hat. However, I wonder if everyone had heard the tirade Tyson launched into after Lewis left the stage. It's truly staggering; you have to wonder why Tyson's managers are allowing him to skip his meds.

Hello Kitty Psyche Test: (Flash site) According to this test, I'm an evil bastard who doesn't care about other people. It told me this largely because I prefer curry to soup. Draw your own conclusions.

How well do you know me? Do you know my ins and outs? My ups and downs? My backs and forths? Well, now's the time to PUT YOUR MONEY WHERE YOUR MOUTH IS and take this test. I will be severly disappointed in any immediate family member who scores less than 80.

Wow. The Onion has run some rough articles before, but this one is staggering. I don't know if I should laugh or run screaming from the room. (I'm thinking I should probably laugh.)

Anabukin-chan! "Hai!" I came across this link via the always-excellent True Meaning Of Life site. I didn't know who Anabukin-chan was or why she was one of their gurus, but this page should explain everything. (NOTE: When I say, "explain everything", I actually mean "cause incredulous stares followed by uncontrollable fits of laughter". It's better if I don't explain further.)

My favorite pictures of today: By now I'm sure that the news that a heroic you soul hit Fred Durst in the back of the head with a pie. Thanks to wonderful email friends, I've got a link to pictures. YAY!

SNAZZY!

Abject stupidity: I had a rough beginning today; my parents called me at 6:45 AM to inform me tha my grandfather had passed away. I'd like to thank the citizens of Lauderhill, Florida, for helping me smile today.

Good God: ICP ain't got NOTHIN' on these guys. Click and prepare to bust a gut.

HAPPY NEW YEAR! Thankfully, I didn't list "updating my blog" as a resolution, otherwise I'd be in pathetic shape already. Still, I know that people stumble across this site from time to time, so in the interest of giving people something to read, I present this link. A sampling:

(7) Garrett Datz says he was at a wedding where they wanted to release live butterflies instead of having the guests throw rice. The idea was to release them from the top of the tent the wedding was held under. Unfortunately, they had the butterflies in boxes for hours and then in release cages for another few hours. By the time the critters were let go, they had all died and plopped onto the assembled party, which to me sounds like something out of Carrie.

There's even funnier on this page, trust me.

2002 - A New Hope: The year in review...

- Joei went through a disheartening round of grad school auditions and came out the other side more determined than ever to do what she needed to do in order to achieve her goals.
- My paternal grandmother passed away on my father's birthday.
- I took a high-paying job with a fairly draconian company in order to finance my wife's departure from the work force, only to be laid off in the aftermath of September 11.
- I got back in touch with a couple of close friends from high school.
- A good friend lost her husband to the worst terrorist attack in US history.
- I discovered that you can survive with little change in lifestyle for about 10 weeks on unemployment.
- I went on a n all-expenses paid trip to Europe with the Boston Symphony Orchestra. Not too shabby, eh?
- I celebrated my second wedding anniversary.
- I cried for the first time in two years.
- Joei and I boought a condo and hosted Thanksgiving in it.
- One chamber group (Concordia Society) ceased its existence, but another (Seraphim Singers) rose to take its place.
- I got a new job with a fantastic company that seems to distill all of the best aspects of the previous three companies I've worked for.
- Joei was cast as a lead in a production of "Carmen".
- My brother decided to motivate and try to put together recording sessions for the second Poem-Cees release.
- Joei and I bought a Rav 4 and drove it to Ontario and Ohio.
- I was stabbed in the back in a professional situation for the first time.
- I discovered that happiness is much more important thatn making a huge amount of money.
- Judge Judy became my show of choice.
- I met some people I'd known online since 1996 for the first time face-to-face, and really liked all of them.
- My grandfather had an unsuccessful kidney transplant and is on dialysis, yet is still doing remarkably well.
- I tried to write a 50,000 word novel in a month. I got down 3,000 words before running out of steam.
- I discovered Unwound.
- New albums were released by The Cure, Tool, Depeche Mode, Radiohead, Bjork, Orbital, New Order, My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult, Insane Clown Posse, Busta Rhymes, and Missy Elliot.
- I started this blog.

There are things I'm leaving out, but these are the things that leap to mind. All in all, I have to say it was a good year.

Teaser: Tomorrow I may have some excellent news to impart to the brave Googlers who stumble across my site. Until then, feast your eyes on Ally's Halloween pictures. So far, my favorite is the Bauhaus picture.

Gratuitous Geri Halliwell bashing: Click here to join in on the fun. I just spent several minutes shrieking with laughter at some of the things written here. My fave so far:

Geri was on this kids radio show for Radio 4 and she saying to the child interviews "what do you think of me? am I famous enough for you?" To which one of the interviewers, a plucky eight year old boy, replied "Well you're a bit scruffy, I thought you would be wearing posh closhes"

Everett True should get this kid for his new magazine.

Watch me on TV! It's that time of year again; time for SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION! Many readers know that my lovely wife and Ig with Tanglewood Festival Chorus, the offical chorus of the Boston Symphony and Boston Pops. Every year, A & E broadcasts a Holiday Pops performance taped from the previous year's concert series. This year, the special guests are Shawn Colvin and The Chieftans. There's also a fantastic arrangement of "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" which is light-years better than anything involving Jim Carrey. The dates of broadcast are Saturday, December 15th at 9pm and Friday, December 21st at 9pm. Tune in and look for the attractive, short black guy with the goatee (that's me) and the stunning, voluptuous black woman with the impeccable hair (that's Joei).

The mind boggles: A streamable collaboration between D12 and Gorillaz about the attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon? I'm not sure my fragile little mind can comprehend this. Still, I was intrigued enough to attempt to try to play it. After downloading Shockwave, my browser was shut down and I was kicked off the Internet. When I logged back on, the site loaded for four minutes, then threw a series of script errors at me. I don't mind being appalled at songs, but having to work to get to the appalled stage really pisses me off. I cordially invite the person who coded the Gorillaz site to eat my testicles.

ALBUM REVIEW: THE CURE - Greatest Hits

So, this came out yesterday and of course I bought it. Let me get the baseless gushing out of the way; I LOVE THIS ALBUM. I mean, yeah I own everything on here except for the two new songs, but they included a bonus disc with acoustic versions of all the songs for the sad hyper-fans! WOO-HOO!

Since it's pretty much a forgone conclusion how I feel about the old songs (ie, universally brilliant with the exception of the musical canker sore that is "Mint Car"), here are my initial thoughts on the new songs:

"Cut Here" - It's nice to hear this without the weird flangy distortion effect on top of all of the MP3s I've been able to find. What a classy little pop song. It bounces, it's fun, it isn't sappy, the music is key, and it isn't too long. Choice! The acoustic version is also butter, plus the Missing remix on the single is PHENOMENAL.

"Just Say Yes" - Ahem. The music itself is fine, but Robert should never again smoke whatever weed he had when he decided that doing a duet with SAFFRON would be a good idea. Their voices are just dissonant enough to make my teeth grind in the worst way. The acoustic version, which is Saffron-free, is INFINTELY BETTER; if this becomes a single, they should use that version. It's really a shame, because the music is really neat.

"Signal To Noise" - B-side to "Cut Here". Very nice song. The group as a whole seems to have found a groove for upbeat, catchy-sounding songs. This is the first time in the groups career that you can honestly say that their focus is on being a pop band. Even their B-sides are gleaming jewels.

I'm very very happy with this purchase, so happy that I can't write a coherent criticism of it. Everyone is required to hear the acoustic disc at least once.

DAN'S RATING: GRREATER THAN YOU CAN POSSIBLY IMAGINE!

Michael Jackson through the ages: The things I get via email. A friend of mine sent me this link which is just far too good for me to keep to myself.

WARNING: May frighten small children.

Hooray! I've picked up some super short-term contract work! Help me celebrate by buying me something from my wish list.

Another precious email:

Auburn University's chapters of Sorority Delta Sigma Phi & Fraternity Beta Theta Pi have been suspended after hosting racist Halloween parties on Oct. 25 & 27th. The members imitated rappers, wore black face, 3 finger rings, doo rags & simulated a KKK lynching. Officials said the university would pursue the matter aggressively.

Double GRR.

Lovely. This just appeared in my inbox:

Hi from www.SexXCrawler.com, your Adult content specific search engine:

We would like to take this moment to inform you that you've been placed on to our search engine, http://www.SexXCrawler.com. If you would like to link back to us you can do so by going to http://www.SexXCrawler.com/getsearch.asp.

Our search engine is adult content specific.

If there is something that's not on the Web site that you would like to see, please contact us at team@sexxcrawler.com.

Note: You have received this email only because your email address was found on an adult content Web site that has been indexed into our database. If you've received this email by mistake, please disregard it.

SexXCrawler.com Team.

GRR.

URLs to amuse and abuse: This link comes courtesy of entertainingly insane Brian, a West Coast Meat Beat Manifesto freak whom I've known virtually for years now. The link is much more entertaining if you have a sound card. Meanwhile, this link was sent to me by my father-in-law. I really hope everyone out there ends up with a father-in-law as great as mine.

YOIKES. The latest Google search to turn up this blog that I really wish I didn't know about can be viewed here. Oh dear.

The Strokes justify their existence: Or rather, some extraordinarily clever underground DJs do it for them. Click here for the aptly-titled "A Stroke Of Genius". It's The Strokes vs. Christina Aguilera. It's screamingly fantastic. If only the Strokes could get me that amped on their own, their ridiculous press hype might be warranted.

Lap Top Pop: Clicking this link will take you to a Flash site that has tasters from the upcoming Severed Heads album. I demand that everyone who comes across this link click on it RIGHT NOW and basks in the aural wonderment.

NNoWriMo update: I've written just over 1800 words and have gotten to a fairly gruesome double-murder. Ah, my evil scheme proceeds accoring to plan...

First impression: Aphex Twin - Druqks

Wow. This is a long-lost Squarepusher album.

Dirty little girls: Last night I heard Aaliyah's "Rock The Boat" for the first time. What an absolutely lovely song! The video alone is captivating; beautiful Caribbean scenery abounds as modestly-clad-by-modern-video-standards Aaliyah and dancers boogie on the world's largest catamaran and the world's sexiest beach. Through it all, the song burbles and bubbles like a drowsy sex kitten, setting up a melt-in-your-mouth gorgeous groove with Aaliyah crooning like a spoken-word poet in heat about the joys of heavy petting. It's really amazing, particularly since the songwriting itself is so abstract that I'm amazed that the record company had the courage to pick it as a single. Emotions are compounded by the uncomfortable knowledge that this slice of sexual bounce was the last thing she did before her fatal plane crash. At some points, I felt like I was watching the world's most beautiful snuff film.

In a similar vein, I felt like I needed to wash my brain out with soap after seeing the video for Britney's new single. With "I'm A Slave 4 U", Britney sheds the last vestiges of the naughty schoolgirl that has followed her since "Baby One More Time" and stampeded onto the scene as full-on club girl unafraid of getting down and dirty in the name of the all-holy beat. The belly-dancing, the groping and licking, the womanly figure bending and twisting and promising anything in the world as long as the music is playing... it's astonishing. Working with The Neptunes was quite possibly the best thing Britney could have done as far as shaking up her image is concerned. This is the first song of hers I've heard that didn't sound like it came with an implicit "Approvbed By Radio Disney!" stamp on the cover. I won't say it's more adult (although it CERTAINLY is more sexual), but it's the first single she's released that I've liked instantly.

THIS JUST IN... "Invasion Of The Gabber Robots" by The Laziest Men On Mars is one of the greatest songs in the universe: Discuss.

I am in love... The tingle of excitement, the quicking pulse, trembling finger reach out to turn up the volume as your heart leaps into you mouth and your brain can only form the thought, "That's my JAM..."

I love the feeling of discovering a great new artist. This month's honoree is Kenna. You've probably seen the wacked-out Claymation video for "Hellbent" on MTV2, and yes, that song is mind-blowing, but the other MP3s I've managed to scrounge are making me yearn for him to release his album. (Of course, if he can wait until I get a job, that would probably be for the best.)

Cure news: Click here to learn the details of their new single, "Cut Here". Cute detail I hadn't picked up on before; the single's title is an anagram of the band's name (CUTHERE). They're so precious! (Note to self: Stop mocking your idols.)

Perspective: The first update in a looong time. Funny how one's priorities change when you lose your job. I couldn't even bear the thought of writing about anything (let alone music) for a good long time. Having this happen in the aftermath of the World Trade Center catastrophe, particularly the same week that I attended a funeral for the husband of a friend who was on that plane, was a bit too much for me to handle. I came to realize, though, that I enjoy writing too much to willingly give up this little vanity project. This realization led me to sign up for NaNoWriMo. I don't know if I'll finish the novel or even if it will be any good, but it can't hurt to put some effort into this. I've always complained that I'm too easily distracted to write a novel; perhaps this will allow me chase one of my dreams.

On a side note: if anyone has any Java work they want done, feel free to drop me a line.

What is jihad? Sent to me via email:

What jihad is; what it isn't
Reuters News Agency


Cairo — A senior Afghan cleric said on Tuesday the ruling Taliban would
launch a jihad against the United States, but officials of the Islamic
movement quickly said that he was in no position to declare a holy war.

The final decision lies with a council of clerics due to convene this
week, officials said.

Afghanistan, which has given refuge to Saudi-born Osama bin Laden, the
top suspect in last week's devastating attacks in New York and
Washington, could be a target in case of a U.S. military reprisal,
possibly sparking a Taliban jihad in retaliation.

But what does the term really mean?


WHAT JIHAD IS
The Arabic word jihad is often translated as "holy war," but a more
accurate translation is "holy struggle." Islamic scholars say the term
"holy war" was actually coined in Europe during the Crusades to mean a
war against the Muslims.
In a purely linguistic sense, the word jihad means struggling or
striving. There are two different, unrelated words that mean war.
In a religious sense, as described by the Koran and teachings of the
Prophet Mohammed, jihad means striving for the benefit of the community
or the restraint of personal sins. It can refer to internal as well as
external efforts to be a good Muslim or believer. Scholars say it
primarily refers to efforts to improve oneself.
Jihad is a religious duty.
If jihad is required to protect the faith against others, it can be
performed using anything from legal, diplomatic and economic to political
means. If there is no peaceful alternative, Islam also allows the use of
force, but there are strict rules of engagement. Innocents — such as
women, children, or invalids — must never be harmed, and any peaceful
overtures from the enemy must be accepted.
Military action is therefore only one means of jihad, and is very rare.
To highlight this point, the Prophet Mohammed told his followers
returning from a military campaign: "This day we have returned from the
minor jihad to the major jihad," which he said meant returning from armed
battle to the peaceful battle for self-control and betterment.
In case military action appears necessary, not everyone can declare
jihad. The religious military campaign has to be declared by a proper
authority, advised by scholars, who say the religion and people are under
threat and violence is imperative to defend them. The concept of "just
war" is very important.
The concept of jihad has been hijacked by many political and religious
groups over the ages in a bid to justify various forms of violence. In
most cases, Islamic splinter groups invoked jihad to fight against the
established Islamic order. Scholars say this misuse of jihad contradicts
Islam.
Examples of sanctioned military jihad include the Muslims' defensive
battles against the Crusaders in medieval times, and before that some
responses by Muslims against Byzantine and Persian attacks during the
period of the early Islamic conquests.


WHAT JIHAD IS NOT
Jihad is not a violent concept.
Jihad is not a declaration of war against other religions. It is worth
noting that the Koran specifically refers to Jews and Christians as
"people of the book" who should be protected and respected. All three
faiths worship the same God. Allah is just the Arabic word for God, and
is used by Christian Arabs as well as Muslims.
Military action in the name of Islam has not been common in the history
of Islam. Scholars says most calls for violent jihad are not sanctioned
by Islam.
Warfare in the name of God is not unique to Islam. Other faiths
throughout the world have waged wars with religious justifications.

Details on new Lamb album: The new album is going to be called What Sound? and should be out in the UK October 8. The band are currently previewing three tracks on their website: "Sweet", "One", and "Heaven". I'll give impressions once I get to a computer with a sound card.

The Cure to re-record hits in acoustic form for new 'Best Of' album: The new single drops at the end of October: ROCK. I don't care how much the import costs; if that's the only way to get the bonus disc, I'm there. One thing bugs me about the track listing. I know it's a "greatest hits" package and all, but it just doesn't scan. How can they justify including "Mint Car", but leaving off "The Walk", "Fascination Street", and "A Letter To Elise"? What happened to "Killing An Arab"? (Although, in light of recent events combined with the average person's complete lack of Camus knowledge, it's probably for the best that they left that one off.)

My personal "greatest hits" compilation for the Cure would probably look something like:

Plastic Passion
Another Day
A Forest
At Night
Faith
Siamese Twins
The Figurehead
Let's Go To Bed
Lament
Shake Dog Shake
Piggy In The Mirror
Screw
How Beautiful You Are...
Like Cockatoos
Hot Hot Hot!!!
The Same Deep Water As You
High
From The Edge Of The Deep Green Sea
Jupiter Crash
Gone! (Ultraliving mix)
Out Of This World
The Loudest Sound

Probably too long and definitely heavy on "downer" songs, yet still representative of their overall output and, most importantly, made up completely of songs which have, at one point or another, been my favorite Cure song. Still, I'd toss that aside in a heartbeat for an official B-side and rarity compilation. Or even a collection of the best versions of "Forever".

goose! This is clearly one of the best site on the web. Many thanks to MP3.com superstar Mike Hanle y for pointing this one out to me.

Nude Spock: The Blog This IL* regular has started keeping his thoughts in blog form. This is almost certain to be sarcastic and hilarious.

Clear Channel's List Of Songs With Questionable Lyrics: I thought this was a suspect thing when I first heard about it. Looking over the list merely confirms my initial reaction. Anyone who puts "Wipeout" by the Surfaris on a list of songs with questionable LYRICS is an idiot.

Umm... Am I the only person unsettled by the image of people in Nazi uniforms leading a theater full of people in singing "God Bless America"?

They want it that way: Forwarded to me via email:

The Backstreet Boys have spoken out against going to war. Here's Kevin's take on things: "I just think we're a little bit of an arrogant nation, and maybe this is a bit of a humbling experience... it raises the question in my mind, What has our government done to evoke or provoke this action, that maybe we don't know about?" Who knew the BSB could be more thoughtful than your average TV reporter?

Perhaps it's important to remember that, along with mourning and unity, now is also a time for introspection. I want justice, but not at the cost of the rest of the world.

The rumor's false: As I suspected, Whitney Houston is still alive. However, the picture accompanying the article denying the rumors goes a long way towards explaining why they surfaced in the first place. I never thought I'd see Whitney in such disarray. She looks like a crackhead; no wonder people assumed she was on the verge of ODing.

HUGE HONKIN' RUMOR: Someone just slipped me a rumor that Whitney Houston died of a drug overdose. I have found no confirmation of this anywhere on the web, so I find it highly suspect.

On a complete tangent, I'm listening to Craig David's Fill Me In and am mildly appalled at how much the song "Walking Away" sounds like U2's "One".

LondonIndieNYC: A group in London are attempting to put together a benefit gig for the victims of the terrorist attacks. Click the link for more info; so far, the only definite info is that it's going to happen on October 12.

Point to the terrorists: I'm frightened after all, but not of them. I'm frightened of what we're going to do to ourselves.

Reflections on a moment: Listening to "Violence" by Pet Shop Boys has almost driven me to tears. Is it possible for us to work through this without demonizing and persecuting hundreds of thousands of innocent Arab-American citizens who are just as shocked and disgusted as we are? Are we doomed to a self-fulfilling prohpecy of America stepping into the role of "The Great Satan" and lobbing missiles at incorrect targets? I've heard people talking about using nuclear weaponry against the perpetrators; in what parallel universe would that make things better?

How do I reconcile these fears and misgivings with my own desire to see the heads of the people responsible roll?

The pessimist in me feels that it is inescapable; we've started down the path towards World War III. The optimist in me is sobbing his eyes out. I don't know what to do; I'm somewhat paralyzed at work and when I get home I can't escape the coverage; my wife is glued to the television, desperate for scraps of information so that she can piece the puzzle together. (Her secret fantasy of being an FBI investigator isn't so secret anymore, ho-ho.) The thoughts that have taken up my mind revolve around figuring out the most peaceful solution to this mess. I'm glad that NATO has gotten involved, as I don't trust the American government to make rational decisions at this point in time. Perhaps three weeks from now I will, but right now the united Congress and President strike me as deeply frightened people looking for something to strike that will banish the darkness. I hope and pray that they wait for things to calm down before evaluating how drastic their response should be.

I had a point I was going to make about that Pet Shop Boys song, but it seems inappropriate to talk about how the cyclical musical structure supports the lyrics talking about violence breeding violence in the face of so much tragedy. It's too soon for all of that.

10 albums you should listen to:

Music Has A Right To Children - Boards Of Canada
Blood - This Mortal Coil
Chill Out - The KLF
Rev - Ultra Vivid Scene
Seal (I) - Seal
Hatful Of Hollow - The Smiths
Japanese Whispers - The Cure
Movement - New Order
The Low End Theory - A Tribe Called Quest
Stabat Mater - Francis Poulenc

Update #2: Mike Daddino is okay.

Update: I've checked in with relatives; all of the immediate ones are safe, as are many of my friends in New York. I am disturbed, however, because there are several friends from college whom I can't contact as well as a good Internet friend, Mike Daddino. I'm hoping and praying that he's okay; Mike worked in the World Trade Center.

One thing I can say about this situation is that terrorist attacks do not make me afraid; they make me FUCKING ANGRY. This was completely senseless and unnecessary. The fact that there are Palestinians CELEBRATING is making my blood boil. I'd like to hunt down every person celebrating this tragedy. Oddly, I also feel like there's something I should have been able to do to prevent this from happening. Clearly this is a stupid and egotistical feeling; life is not a Hollywood blockbuster action flick and a singing computer programmer with moxie would last about ten seconds against the forces that put this operation together. Still, I'd like to see the correct people pay for this tragedy. ("Correct" is a non-trivial qualifier; as much as I want to bomb someone into oblivion over this, it would be a far greater tragedy if a target was arbitrarily or hastily picked as a convenient scapegoat and the real perpetrators never faced justice.)

Oh my God. I have friends who work in the World Trade Center. This is incredibly shocking, largely because this is the first tragedy worthy of national news coverage where I could directly know people killed in the accident.

Plans to move to New York are officially on hold.

Michael Jackson tribute: Off the Wall! Okay, this does it. I'm moving to New York. I can't believe I missed this tacky spectacle. This would have been my personal highlight:

What followed was the first in a series of bizarro onstage spectacles. After the opening number and a five-minute break, the house lights finally came up to reveal a portly Marlon Brando lounging in a leather recliner onstage and donning dark shades.

"I'm Marlon Brando," Brando began, in what's become his customary soliloquy. "In any event while your...wondering who that old fat fart is sitting there...I wanted you to realize that in that minute there were hundreds if not thousands of children hacked to death with a machete, beaten to death by their parents, got typhus and died of a disease."

After jarring the audience to attention, the legendary film star then plugged the popster's Website, MichaelJackson.com, while Jackson himself looked on, sitting beside the stage with best pal Elizabeth Taylor.

Dammit, why don't the freaks come to Boston every now and then?

(Thanks to Dave Popshots for pointing me towards this.)

ALL WILLIAMS FINAL! Hot damn! The Williams have made the US Open their event and done something that hasn't occured since the very first US Open final over 100 years ago. Furthermore, they did so in a manner that shows exactly how lethal they would be if their tennis schedules matched those of the other players. (It's already impressive that they're ranked #4 and #10 yet play half as many tournaments as everyone else.) Venus really has Jennifer Capriati's number right now and Serena remembered where she hid Martina Hingis's. Now, it's a question of whose nerves are going to break first. Smart money saays Serena will psyche herself out, but I always like rooting for the younger sibling (since I am one, you know).

CD frenzy: Someone take away my credit cards. I went out at lunch to get some comic books and ended up with FOUR CDs. Oops.

The irresistable morsels I picked up were:

Björk - Vespertine I'd heard MP3s of this a while ago and wasn't particularly impressed one way or the other. What a difference track order makes! I'm only four songs into it but it's already fantastic. Brittle, sweeping songs that float across the imagination like breezes off the steppe. Amazingly, she uses a children's choir without being HIDEOUSLY ANNOYING. I am in awe.

Orbital - The Altogether I wasn't sure I was going to buy this after my ardor for the MP3s cooled. It was a nice enough album, but lacked the substance of some of their other efforts. Sensing this, someone in the marketing department decided to throw in a second CD of remixes and B-sides. I love this album again and I haven't even played it yet.

Devo - Q: Are We Not Men? A: We Are Devo! I never owned this, despite "Jocko Homo" being my second-favorite Devo song (favorite is "Snowball"; how can you deny that one?). The combination of nostalgia, a creeping desire to pay homage to my roots (I was born in Akron, you know), and the album featuring in a prominent display as I got to the cash register made me grab it. Plus, it was cheap.

Skinny Puppy - Back And Forth Vol 5: Live In Dresden How on Earth could I let a CD with live versions of "Worlock", "TinOmen", "The Choke", "Deep Down Trauma Hounds", and "Inquisition" pass me by? This is special to me, particularly since I never got to see Skinny Puppy live (unlike my BASTARD FRIENDS, you know who you are, GRR). If it sucks, I may just cry.

Okay, I just got to "Aurora". This album is the soundtrack to my imagination. I'm obviously in a much happier place than I was when the soundtrack to my imagination was Confessions Of A Knife...

Time time time, see what's become of me: Okay, so this goes beyond neglect into to plain old ridiculousness. I turn my back to prepare for a world tour and suddenly my blog doesn't get updated for a month. THIS WILL NOT DO.

Anyway, I'm back from Europe. It was tons and tons of fun, with highlights being some stellar concerts in Germany and meeting some UK folks I've only previously known online for a mad karaoke evening (click here for the madcap results; Emma and Sarah remain to this day eternal heroes of mine).

What's happened while I've been gone? Aaliyah died (GRR.) in a manner that was unexpected and shocking. My wife and I have celebrated our second wedding anniversary. (She got a watch, I got a money clip. Aren't we fancy?) I've come to know some members of the Tanglewood festival Chorus much better than I ever thought possible. (I also managed to piss some people off, but there are no surprises there.) I finally got the Stanton Warriors mix CD, which is about 8 million times better than I thought it was going to be. I've order DSL and will soon have hyper-speedy connectivity at home along with a potentially new home for this site, which would allow a redesign that incorporated GIFs and MP3s of songs I've written. I still love my car. I may audition for another chamber group. Serena Williams beat Lindsey Davenport to get past the quartefinals in a Grand Slam event for the first time this year. Things are a whirl of possibilities and I coldn't be happier (or more nervous).

In other shocking news, the new P. Diddy single doesn't suck. Okay, he still can't rhyme his way out of a paper bag, but the beat is tight.

REVIEW: FLUKE - Progressive History X

I came across this during my weekly comic book run (BTW, The Authority #25 is R0X0R) and immediately went for it. Risotto was one of my favorite albums of 1997, but I never got a chance to explore the rest of their catalogue because of staggering import prices. (By the time 1997 rolled around, I was no longer cool with paying $27 for a CD I didn't already know.)

Finding this disc is something of a gold mine for me. This disc stretches back to the group's beginnings in 1991, with mixes of all of their singles. The opening track, "Thumper" is the lone new track and is a self-conscious throwback to their earlier style; I had no idea the song was written in 2001 until I read the liner notes. One thing this collection highlights is Fluke's mastery of the mid-tempo dancefloor-filler. Each of these tracks proudly straddle the mid-tempo point of their time, flaunting their trancey thumps and smooth hooks. The tempos subtly accelerate as the collection moves on, as well, leading to the blissed-out euphoric jam "Squirt".

The main criticism I can make of this album is that it's a little too homogenous. On the first few listens, many of the unfmiliar songs blend into each other in a pleasing-yet-anonymous mash of sound. I know that the group is capable of stretching themselves; "Squirt" is perhaps the most distinctive single they released and is just one of several songs from the excellent Risotto that I wish had been included here. (A remix of "Setback" in particular would have been nice.) I'm glad I bought this, but based on their earlier material, I'm glad I refrained from paying import prices for those older albums. I still want them, but not as badly as I did before.

DAN'S RATING: GRR-OKAY(I really need to find a mildly positive word that begins with "gr". Suggestions?)

Angelina Jolie to join Belle & Sebastian? There is absolutely nothing I can say about this article that could be funnier than just reading it. The real world has once again proven that it is a bizarre place to be.