I love the Internet: Warp Records has made two new Squarepusher mp3s available. The song is called "My Red Hot Car" and is, of course, absolutely brilliant. It starts out innocently enough as sparse, bouncy, 2-step number. It doesn't take long, though, for Squarepusher's weirdness to creep in, and by 1:30 the whole thing is a funky mish-mash of techstep and 2-step. Absolutely unmissable.

DAN'S RATING: GRREAT!!!

The great hygiene product conspiracy: Whew, I feel your pain, my brother. Hands up, everyone who's been there. (Those of you who are there right now are exempt. No, really. I insist.)

Frightening: I've been checking various web searches to see if this site would come up if you put in my name. Apparently, the phrase I should have been using is "tickle feather". Let the flashbacks commence.

Tom's question answered: Why is this Saint Etienne review so annoying? Because there's an inherent fallacy in the first paragraph. The assumption that no one remembers the names of any songs by Black Box is completely WRONG. How could anyone forget "Everybody Everybody", "Strike It Up", "I Don't Know Anybody Else" or "Ride On Time"? From the moment I read that, my teeth began to grit and I wanted to swat the reviewer for making a baseless assumption about me. This isn't even taking into consideration the emminently plausible scenario that most people of a certain age who like St. Etienne would have been listening to Black Box at the height of their popularity.

That's my take on it, anyway.

Kathleen on Geri Halliwell: Much has been said about how Geri is wasting away into nothing these days. I've just watched the video for her remake of "It's Raining Men" and I kind of feel the need to say this: I think she looks athletic, not emaciated. She has a lot of muscle definition, particularly in her abs and arms, and I really don't see her bones sticking out a la Calista Flockheart. It's shocking to see, particularly when remembering the voluptuous Spice Girl Geri, but (and I may get crucified for this) looking different from then doesn't mean she looks bad. In fact, the only thing keeping me from saying that she looks good is her GOD-AWFUL HAIR. Jesus Christ, she looks like a demented Barbie doll with that orange-glowing skin and the neon follicles. It's really unnerving. A darker color (any darker color) would be much more flattering.

I would say something about the picture of her breast-feeding a doll, but I figure that if no one talks about it, it will effectively cease to exist.

Wacko Jacko records with Limp Bizkit and Destiny's Child: Michael Jackson + Limp Bizkit = SCREAMING NIGHTMARE. What the hell is he thinking? Fred Durst is one of the most repellent human beings in entertainment right now. He is a pus-filled blister on American radio. Nothing would please me more if I could be in a position where I could turn on the radio and be guaranteed to never hear his nasal whine screeching about nookie, rolling, or doing things his way. However, given they way American radio works, this particular collaboration is guaranteed to be a single. Not only that, but given the performers involved, it has "crossover designed to be played to death on every single radio station on the dail, including NPR" written all over it. Life is cruel and evil.

How To Win An Argument With a Meat-Eater: I feel that I should warn all vegetarians that resorting to any of these arguments with me when discussing eating meat will cause me to laugh at you. I am a completely unrepentant omnivore and I, personally, do not care one little bit that the fact that I like the taste of burgers may be an unpardonable sin in your universe that is contributing to world hunger and the greenhouse effect. The only arguments for not eating meat that will not make me think you are an inveterate bed-wetter are:

"I don't like the taste of meat." That's fair. Why on Earth would you force yourself to eat something you don't like the taste of? There's no need to be a masochist.

"I find the whole concept of slaughtering animals disgusting." This is also fair. For some reason, the idea of a cow being disembowelled as it hangs from a hook by its back hooves doesn't bother me at all, bu the idea of a veal calf sitting in a small pen surrounded by its own diarrhea makes me gag. Possibly the only way to turn me into a vegetarian would be to convince me that an integral part of raising all edible livestock is forcing it to sit in its own shit. (I say possibly because I could never see myself giving up barbecued pork ribs.)

"I feel healthier when I don't eat meat." Rock on! I'm all for feeling healthy. I'm glad that cutting meat out of your diet works for you. I like it too much to cut it out of mine, although I have decreased the amount of red meat that I eat.

When people start quoting statistics at me about the number of people who could be fed if we didn't eat livestock or how raising livestock is stripping the Earth of its natural resources, they automatically earn points towards the "sanctimonious prat" tag. This happens because everyone who has done this to me has at some point or another baldly stated that the fact that I eat meat makes me a bad person. I have no time for people who think that way.

Link stolen from Tom, who is most certainly not a sanctimonious prat.

For those interested: Here's the poster for the upcoming Concordia Society concert. Clicking on it will bring up more information.

INITIAL IMPRESSIONS: Survivor - Destiny's Child

I haven't listened to the entire album yet, but I have to say that "Nasty Girl" is the HEIGHT of irony. One has to admire the sheer chutzpah involved in condemning someone for dressing like a slut when your group seems to think that fashion ended with the invention of hot pants. Plus, I love the a capella section and the "Tarzan Boy" quote, so it's all good.

Tabloid Hell: This is a regular feature of NME.com, but this week's entry was far too entertaining to let slide without comment. Tattoos in extraordinarily inappropriate places, hypocritical sermonizing, Oasis idiocy, and proof that the craziest people in the world live in the United States. Pure, unadulterated comedy.

CONCERT PROMOTION:

THE CONCORDIA SOCIETY
Daniel Roihl, Music Director

presents:

**************************************
VOX HUMANA:
Choral Music to Evoke the Human Spirit
**************************************

A concert of sacred and secular choral works, featuring:


* Sacred motets by Brahms, Mendelssohn, Stanford, Arvo Part,
Otto Olsson, and Noam Elkies
* Chansons by Debussy, Ravel, and Hindemith
* Italian madrigals by Claudio Monteverdi
* Ballads by Sir Edward Elgar and Normand Lockwood
* A selection of American spirituals

May 11, 2001 - 8:00 P.M.
The Memorial Church, Harvard Yard
Admission $15 (Students/seniors $10)

For tickets & information, please call (617) 625-4398
Or visit our website at www.concordiasociety.org

What is the difference between DC and Philly? This is the question pondered in the latest entry to Intelligent Discourse, the official blog of the Poem-Cees. It's a pretty interesting summary of why the DC hip-hop scene hasn't exploded like those of its East Coast brethren, complete with a manifesto for how DC could put itself on the map.

I've heard many of the artists mentioned and there's absolutely NO REASON why DC doesn't have a national presence. It's like a hidden national treasure. Do yourself a favor and spend a little bit of extra time investigating the DC scene. I'm sure if you write to the Poem-Cees, they'd be more than happy to point you in the right direction (starting with their debut I.O.U. Street, of course).

The Tool wecast: There have been several hits to my site from search engines where people were looking for information about Tool. Here's more info about the new album straight from the band itself. I still haven't heard the new album yet, so no review as of yet. I still expect it to be one of the three Great Albums to be released this year (the other two being Exciter by Depeche Mode and Amnesiac by Radiohead, although I'm not counting out Orbital's The Altogether yet).

The Cure announce festival appearance: Apparently Robert Smith is the love child of the Energizer Bunny and the Little Boy Who Cried Wolf. He's been threatening to end the Cure for something on the order of 15 years now, yet they still pop up for one last album or one last festival appearance. I was expecting some announcement like this, but it's still great to hear. Bloodflowers was a far superior album to Wild Mood Swings and I'm hoping that they can continue the upward trend with their next release, whether it's a Cure album or a solo Robert album. (And anyway, if you release a solo album where the auxilliary musicians are all of the guys from your band, is it really a solo album? I think not.)

I guess my dream band will need a new bass player, though. I wonder what Brown Mark is up to...?