EEEK! Normally, I would have some commentary on the linked article, but the accompanying picture was so disturbing that I couldn't bring myself to read it. I will say, though, that it takes a special kind of confidence to name your first album in half a decade Invincible.

That's some good writin': I feel bad about not discovering Glorious Noise earlier. They have some startlingly good pieces there. Today's piece about over-exaggeration and the need to have The Right Persona strikes particular chords with me.

OW! I like cats and all, but GIVE ME A BREAK. That thing should be put down post haste. (I'm trying to imagine the horror of actually being at the scene. EEK.)

Take that, you smug bastard: gsv at Glorious Noise drops some science on a New Yorker writer who appears to be vanishing up the rear end of classic rock at the speed of light. The defense is applicable to any genre, not just nu-pop, which makes me smile.

Track-by-track preview of New Order album: The album, titled Get Ready, is due to hit stores in the UK August 27. Going from this description, it's going to be the most exciting New Order album since Technique. Hands up everyone who can't wait to hear "Vicious Streak" and "Primitive Notion"... *raises hand*

You can't touch this! A slice of insanity stolen from Guns over at One Inch Punch. He also has a link to the family-only feed of the McVeigh execution, which will not be linked here because my skin just will not stop crawling. Go check out his site; it's pretty good, despite the unnecessary T'Pau-bashing. (I mean, so what if "Heart And Soul" was their one good song? It's a fantastic song. Had Roxette faded away after "The Look", I'd be giving them props, too.)

BBC pledge action against Britney death hoax pranksters: Looks like my initial inclination not to link that one was a good'un. In a way it's too bad, as the fake report was kind of funny. (Most of the humor is admittedly derived from the mental image of someone running over the startlet and saying, "Oops, I did it again.")

I love The Onion: This has been cracking me up for the past 10 minutes. How brutal!

In other Onion-related news, Chuck D is a juggalo. See, I'm not crazy!

Robbie Williams plans album of Sinatra-style big band covers: Jesus. Someone's ego is sprialling out of control, I think. What would be less appealing than Robbie Williams proto-bleating over big band music? Hmm... how about Dido singing over the sound of screaming rabbits? (Um, wait; that would make Dido interesting. Scratch that.) Ah, here we go; A.J. of the Backstreet Boys singing cabaret songs!

Okay, I've officially disturbed myself. Must think happy thoughts...

Tim blasts the ballads on the second half of Survivor and I can only shake my head in sorrow. Only playing the first 30 seconds of "Dangerously In Love" means that you never get to hear the soaring, aching chorus, where the emotions overwhelm the girls in a terrifying rush of tears and joy. It's a complete emotional meltdown that mixes elation and pain so thoroughly that the listener isn't sure whether to feel scared by the intensity of love offered or to just bask in its thermonuclear glow. It's absolutely beautiful.

Perhaps I'm getting sentimental, considering that my two-year wedding anniversary is coming up at the end of the summer. Maybe approaching thirty is bending my emotions towards things I would have scorned in my callow youth. Or maybe "Dangerously In Love" really is excellent and I should stop trying to come up with excuses for my admiration.

My newest obssession: Has everyone out there heard of an online comic strip called Sluggy Freelance? Imagine Bloom County filtered through even more sarcasm with a heaping helping of gratuitous violence and multiple concurrent story arcs and you're starting to get the idea. Click here and bask in the cynical hilarity.

Singles to watch: These are my personal picks for hot singles to watch in the top 50 of the Billboard Top 100 singles chart:

12: Superwoman Pt. II - Lil' Mo Featuring Fabolous
37: It's Been Awhile - Staind
41: Fill Me In - Craig David
44: Bootylicious - Destiny's Child

The Backstreet Boys single might do well, but I'm not holding my breath. We'll also see if Jessica Simpson can ride her uncanny resemblance to Britney Spears into the top 10.