Monday, August 11, 2003

Don't expect much from me for the next month or so (I know, SHOCKER): I've purchased Warcraft III and am currrently in undead heaven. Hmm, does that make sense?

Thursday, August 07, 2003

Just a quick post to say "Hi, random Googlers! I'm not dead, just boring. Okay, luv ya, bye-bye."

Friday, May 23, 2003

Silence! The Musical: The blog roars back to life due to a friend thinking that a site featuring MP3s for a musical based on "Silence Of The Lambs" would be right up my alley. So far I've only gotten up to track 2 and I AM BESIDE MYSELF.

I hope these guys make it because Buffalo Bill lies very nicely in my range.

Wednesday, May 21, 2003


I put the headphones on and lean back. Jagged guitar assaults my ears and fear grips me as I hear the harrowing opening litany. THEY ARE OUT TO GET ME.
The beat kicks in. We're in party mode, but things are still unsettled. I can't find the bling, only corrupt cops and incompetent middle management. They tell me I can't see, but I'm trying.

Children playing forms the background for child abuse while the world's most shimmery keyboard patch puts a glossy, confectionery coating on getting to close to the seedy streets. I'm remided of all the things I need to fear again, but I nod my head to the rugged drums and shout along: "WE AIN'T SCARED OF YOU!"

A tender case of commitement jitters turns into all-out mad-dog frothing over blatant infidelities. This in turn takes us to a mythical land where every lady is a little bit mocha, a little bit latte and a whole lot of DAMN! (Of course, we have to look over our shoulders to make sure the female friends can't see us rubber-necking.)

The storm clouds brew again as the POWERS THAT BE breathe down our necks and pull our strings; Joe Theisman to the rescue! At the end all I can say is "blah blah blah"; I'm completely spent.

Hands shaking, I take the headphones off, wipe the sweat from my brow, and press play again. It's just that good.

Don't let this album pass you by; you can't afford not to hear it.

Friday, February 07, 2003

Were Personals: Are you a werewolf or weretiger looking to connect with that special weregiraffe, but unable to connect with lycanthropes in your area? Then this board is for you! (This board is also for you if you like laughing at people.)

Wednesday, January 29, 2003

The most disgusting story ever: Just read it (and prepare to hurl).
Woman Who Got Leg in Mail Sues for Anguish: Apparently she thought it was a Lobstergram. This is terrible; I'm going to have to cancel all of my plans for the evening because I'm going to be too busy laughing until my lungs shoot out of my nose.

Friday, January 24, 2003

Genesis re-evaluated: I posted the following to the I Love Music board on yesterday and was told that I managed to make someone interested in a Phil Collins song. Yay for me! The track in question is on the criminally-underrated Invisible Touch album and really should be heard by everyone, if only to show that AOR doesn't have to be boring and formulaic.
Okay, I just downloaded "Domino" and the opening is just as fantastic as I remembered it to be. Pulsating guitar/synth lines with wispy goth drums suddenly burst into a micro-fit of AOR bombast minus bass line and power chords. All the while, the guitar is just lurking in the background, playing the same undulating hypnotizing line. Phil sings about a broken relationship, jonesing for luvin' and a thunderstorm without rhyming until the chorus. The chorus itself contains one of those AWESOME descending progressions that just make you want to sway. The whole thing builds in 80s cliche after 80s cliche (Drumpad abuse? Check. Cathedral keyboards? Check.) all throughout the first half.

Then, everything drops out except for the synths. Phil sings a line about wishing things would last forever, then BAM we've got The Genesis interpretation of Nitzer Ebb's "Lightning Man". Phil starts singing REALLY LOONEY lyrics about a river of blood that overflows its banks and melts children. There's a reverb/echo break for the guitar at this point, sounding sort of like Pink Floyd's "Run Like Hell" rescored for solo guitar, then they burst into the TRIUMPHANT SOUNDTRACK FINALE where Phil talks about awful things on TV and quotes Anthrax (!!) interspersed with triumphant (and nonsensical) exhortations that "you gotta go domino!" The song's final breakdown occurs, where Phil repeats the "nothing lasts forever" line at the faster tempo then wanks all over his drumpads, and then they play us out by having Tony hit every preset on his keyboard in succession while Mike continues to show that while Genesis may have guitar, it's all rhythm guitar. Tony, Phil and Mike tastefully jam their way to the fade-out and you immediately push play again because the whole thing is SO AWESOME.

Monday, January 20, 2003

Bored? Try this exciting Shockwave game where you race sushi. (It's not as odd as it sounds... well, okay, it is, but it's worth playing for the sequence where your sushi car runs out of steam.)

Friday, January 17, 2003


Reason #120493948852 why the World Wide Web is the greatest invention ever.
Disturbing site of the day: On the eve of my thirtieth birthday, I present the most disturbing thing I've seen on the 'Net today; a site that sells plastic baby parts for doctor to practice their surgical techniques on. It looks like something from a torture dungeon, eek.