Anyone out there who knows Ned Raggett will appreciate this one:

Emined LIVES!

Picture of the week:

oh NO!!!!!

Taking Sides: Police brutality or criminally negligent parenting?

STEAL THIS LINK: I actively encourage everyone who stumbles across this page to put this link on your own site. The more people we can attract to this thread via Google, the better.

WHY DAN PERRY IS A HORRIBLE FRIEND:

- I've forgotten at least three birthdays so far this month. (Happy brithday, Theo! Happy birthday, Jeff! Happy birthday, Liza!)
- I have neglected to write back friends who have attempted to keep in touch with me. (Hi Sara! Hi Amber!)
- I have mooched horribly off of co-workers in bars because I'm too broke to buy a round of drinks.
- I have seen the future, and it will be.
- I promised Poem-Cees CDs to people and never sent them. (Hi Simon! Hi Jeff! Hi John!)

This all ends today. Today I shall get off of my lazy behind and get back in touch with people. I will begin compiling stuff I've promised to people. I will start writing more, both fiction and non-fiction. I will FINALLY redesign this horrible-looking site and put up my current concert information. (ON THIS FRONT: Boston Pops, May 31 & June 1; 7:30 PM. Hear me sing John Williams along with 59 other people!)

I've said this before, but I really mean it this time.

Hats of Meat: Yet another reason why I love the Internet.

Tom's top ten looks like it could be my top ten. Busta Rhymes and Ludacris? Steely Dan? OUT OF MY MIND, EWING!

Charlotte Church admits 'loving her bum': Oh my dear lord. If this isn't concrete evidence of the end of the world, I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS.

"Nasty, put some clothes on!" Anyone who knows how I feel about Anna Kournikova ("She's not that great a tennis player; she hasn't even won a tournament! On top of that, she's really plain. The only reason people are gaga over her is because she's a blond Russian; the number of more attractive female tennis players on the tour is kind of staggering. Etc, etc etc.") will understand the intense glee this story brings me. Put that one in yer portfolio, sweetie.

FEAR: I've received many disturbing things via email, but very few of them could compare to this. The only thing I can say is THANK GOD there were no pictures to go along with that.

Random music update: Angie Stone is wonderful. "Wish I Didn't Miss You" takes the Curtis Mayfield sound and plants it firmly in the 21st century, particularly with the club remixes. This song deserves to be MASSIVE. Also, heard one of the remixes of "For My People" on the radio the other day and couldn't help dancing like that girl in the car commercial (you know which one I'm talking about).

Lisa "Left Eye" Lopez, RIP: HORRIBLE news. TLC were always a sentimental favorite; even though I don't have any of their albums, their singles were always on point. Plus, Left Eye's solo album was pretty remarkable. It's really a shame; she was barely a year older than me.

NME made Pap Roach frontman lose Dick: This is easily my favorite headline of the day.

The indestructible sandwich: I would only eat one of these things if I had an indestructible colon.

Eeek. Just to keep up the posting frenzy, click on the link to hear wanton abuse of the Pokemon license. Truly frightening.

More David Hasselhoff action: Ever wonder what David Hasselhoff's version of "Hooked On A Feeling" would sound like? How about the video; what's that all about? Click on the link and find out!

Madonna art condemmed:

Howson has also completed a number of nude Madonna sketches. One of the most detailed - a sketch depicting Madonna next to the head of John the Baptist - is being auctioned online.

Click HERE to place a bid.

Um, no thanks.

More Prodigy news: Links from the previously-blogged entry led me to this UTTERLY PRICELESS gem of academic stupidity. I wish I could get a government grant to inject mice with speed and play "Smack My Bitch Up" at full volume at them until their hearts stopped.

New Prodigy single title revealed: Allegedly, it's going to be called "Baby's Got A Temper". More worrying news lies in the idea that Liam and company have decided to put more emphasis on vocals this time around. Boys, boys, boys: you are at your best when you spin bootylicious chipmunk hardcore. Reinventing yourself as serious lyricists will put you on the fast track to Underworldesque levels of pomposity. Do not forget that the DANCE COMES FIRST.

(I should point out that none of my concerns will stop me from trying to get my hands on their newest release as soon as humanly possible.)

The Camel Toe Report: Okay. I know it's Easter and this is probably blasphemous and all, but I HAVE TO SHARE THIS LINK. There's nothing I can say that could make this site funnier. Just click (but not at work).

News flash: Joei has been accepted at Longy School of Music and Boston Conservatory. If anyone sees me out on the street corner offering myself to strangers for cash, well, baby needs tuition...