Tim blasts the ballads on the second half of Survivor and I can only shake my head in sorrow. Only playing the first 30 seconds of "Dangerously In Love" means that you never get to hear the soaring, aching chorus, where the emotions overwhelm the girls in a terrifying rush of tears and joy. It's a complete emotional meltdown that mixes elation and pain so thoroughly that the listener isn't sure whether to feel scared by the intensity of love offered or to just bask in its thermonuclear glow. It's absolutely beautiful.

Perhaps I'm getting sentimental, considering that my two-year wedding anniversary is coming up at the end of the summer. Maybe approaching thirty is bending my emotions towards things I would have scorned in my callow youth. Or maybe "Dangerously In Love" really is excellent and I should stop trying to come up with excuses for my admiration.

My newest obssession: Has everyone out there heard of an online comic strip called Sluggy Freelance? Imagine Bloom County filtered through even more sarcasm with a heaping helping of gratuitous violence and multiple concurrent story arcs and you're starting to get the idea. Click here and bask in the cynical hilarity.

Singles to watch: These are my personal picks for hot singles to watch in the top 50 of the Billboard Top 100 singles chart:

12: Superwoman Pt. II - Lil' Mo Featuring Fabolous
37: It's Been Awhile - Staind
41: Fill Me In - Craig David
44: Bootylicious - Destiny's Child

The Backstreet Boys single might do well, but I'm not holding my breath. We'll also see if Jessica Simpson can ride her uncanny resemblance to Britney Spears into the top 10.

Fall honour festival date despite Mark E Smith's broken leg: I just wanted you all to know that I don't remember ever seeing a picture of Mark E Smith before... and now I know why. YIKES. Rock 'n roll is a hard life, kids.

I'm somewhat impressed that he's going to go onstage with a broken leg. I probably wouldn't do it. Or, if I did, I'd whine and moan about it the entire time until the audience bum-rushed the stage and tore my lips off. So, it's a good thing I won't ever face this predicament. I like my lips.

Review Depeche Mode in Quebec City for NME.COM: Are you an amateur writer looking to break into the wild, wacky world of record reviews? Are you going to see the kickoff concert for Depeche Mode's Exciter tour in Quebec City on June 11? Then this might be your big break! (Alternately, it could be another cynical promotional gambit. It's sort of a toss-up.)

Radiohead set for another US chart-topper: After this week, Staind will no longer have the top-selling album in the land. (I can hear the chorus of "Awwwww"s from here.) Most sources point towards Amnesiac holding a slight lead over St. Lunatics' Free City.

(I was going to make some crack about St. Lunatics, seeing as before this morning I'd never heard of them, but I can't be too rough towards a group that has 4 tracks called "Mad Baby Daddy Skit" on their album.)

REVIEW: Music From The Motion Picture: TOMB RAIDER

I actually had no plans to pick up this album. I was in the record store to get my hands on physical copies of Amnesiac (which, by the way, everyone should own, if only for the dirty techno-funk of "Pulk/Pull Revolving Doors") and "My Red Hot Car" (Squarepusher in da hizzy!). The cover caught my eye as I walked past the soundtrack section (hmm, I wonder why...) and I thought to myself, "I wonder who's on this besides U2?"

I was, therefore, completely unprepared to find Nine Inch Nails, The Chemical Brothers, Leftfield, Outkast, Missy Elliot, Moby, BT, Fluke, Fatboy Slim, Delerium, and Basement Jaxx listed on the back. Um, wow? To the cash register I went, and boy was it worth the purchase! The phatness abounds, from the sheer insanity of the "Get Ur Freak On" remix (which does away with Missy's limpid rap and slaps on a truly DERANGED performance by Nelly Furtado) and "Speedballin'" (which shows Outkast attempting to merge hip-hop, gospel, and happy hardcore... and succeeding) to a taste of the new Basement Jaxx album ("Where's Your Head At?", a stomper of a tune which is best described as "Same Ol' Show" done as a complete song rather than a demo beat) and the absolutely euphoric "Devil's Nightmare" by Oxide and Neutrino (creepy male choristers + 2-step garage beat = INSTANT CLASSIC).

Even the weak tracks have something going for them. U2's contribution ("Elevation") comes across as empty stadium bombast, yet still will make your toes tap. The NIN track ("Deep") is The Fragile-lite, meaning it's ultimately disposable but contains some nice music at its core. And Fatboy Slim's "Illuminati" is nothing more than Bootsy Collins ranting over the fierce stomper "Michael Jackson" from Better Living Through Chemistry. This annoys me intensely but if he HAD to wholly cannibalize one of his earlier tracks, he picked the right one.

There are 15 tracks in all with nary a skit in sight. That's rare enough these days. If you have any fondness for "electronica" (oh, how I despise that word), do yourself a favor and grab a copy of this.

DAN'S RATING: GRROOVY!

Four GCSEs And A Chip On His Shoulder: DG is a regular contributor to the I Love Music forum with a lot of good stuff to say. He also rocks because he pointed me towards a forum full of gibbering idiots. KittyReaper in particular is fun to mock.

Radio station fined for playing Eminem: Okay, where do I begin with this slice of madness? I don't really have a problem with the FCC coming up with regulations against out-and-out cursing (I mean, it annoys me, particularly when releasing a radio version dilutes the song, as it does with "Oochie Wally", but if you're going to have a regulation standard I think cutting out swear words is reasonable), but now they''re regulating against innuendo? Am I the only one who finds that disturbing?

The "Bootylicious" Gambit: Not only is this a good article highlighting some of the sketchier processes involved in creating radio playlists, but it also has one of the best titles ever. It sounds like an unorthodox chess strategy.

The wonders of technology: I've been informed that Mapquest now contains aerial photos of various locations. Here's a picture of the house I grew up in. Can't you smell that country air? There are two important things you don't really get from this picture; that super-long driveway goes up large hill and this quaint country location is 45 minutes outside of downtown Saint Paul.

Actual music content will follow later today, honest.

Dear God: How appropriate is it that I was listening to "Shameless" by Pet Shop Boys when I stumbled across this charming picture of Lil' Kim? I mean, I thought Christina looked bad, but clearly I wasn't ready for the full barrage of wrongness. (Amusing side note: all of the Moulin Rouge ladies are represented... except Mya. Coincidence?)

Prodigy release remix album: The exciting thing about this is the notion of tracks from their first album remixed in all sorts of fun and entertaining ways. Now, if they announce that the "What Evil Lurks" tracks are on it, as well, I will by psyched.

And now, more me! For those who are curious, I've discovered a pretty good picture of Joei and me at an MSN web community owned by our good friend Michael. Please excuse the boozy smirk; odds are that if Michael and I are in the same room, we're both completely schnookered. (NOTE: If the direct link doesn't work, try clicking on the link to Michael's community and browsing his "Friends and Family" album.)

The Neptunes - 'We want to work with Coldplay': Among others. My reaction: BOOM is the sound of a hot production team's credibility imploding. I mean, who in their right minds would hitch their wagon to Oasis these days?

Check out the wheelz! We FINALLY got the Rav 4 this weekend. Much of the weekend was spent cruising around Boston looking for friends to impress. Alas, many were not home. *sob* I guess we'll just have to show Bullet off at a later time.

I swear this is the last time you will hear me babbling about the new car.

Addendum: I've made my first NYLPM post; a review of Destiny's Child's "Bootylicious". Go check it out, then come back and heckle me.

Behold my mighty pen! It's official: I'm now a part of the New York London Paris Munich team. This means I'll have to, like, actually edit my contributions and try to think of erudite comments. Not too intimidating.

Actually, I think I'll become the "wacky" team member; I'll write disjointed, rambling reviews that make tenuous connections between the single of the week and the splintering of Yugoslavia, all the while peppering my prose with tortured metaphors and making very few cogent comments about the music itself. Oh wait, that's what Pitchfork is for! (Oh, meow. At least I've got the "bitchy journalist" pose down pat.)

In all seriousness, I'm very excited about this. Here's a chance to babble about music on a forum that isn't a vanity project. IT can only make me a better writer. (Or garner email abuse, which wouldn't matter because then at least more people would EMAIL ME. Thanks to those of you who have dropped me a line; I appreciate it.)

NOTE: The Pitchfork slam was for the purposes of a cheap joke and should not be taken as a serious comment. It's all about the love, y'all. And being a back-pedalling wimp.

Tricky - Rare illness almost destroyed my career: Wow. And here I was thinking it was the piles and piles of marijuana he was smoking that made him paranoid and delusional. My bad.

When idols go awry: Oh, Prince, say it ain't so! Damn. (Sorry, darn.)