Burn, baby, burn: Yesterday's entertainment was provided by someone from the third floor strolling up to our office and notifying us that the BUILDING WAS ON FIRE. One co-worker asked me, "Hmm. The fire alarm hasn't gone off. Does this mean we don't have to go outside?" "Of course not!" I replied as I packed up my stuff and headed for the door.

At this moment, about 500 firemen and 300,000,000,000,000,000 firetrucks (complete with cool extend-o-ladders) materialized around the building. There was mildly bemused confusion as the fire department attempted to escort us out of the building and various co-workers would vanish so that they could quickly pick their noses before leaving the building.

Once we got outside, we discovered two things:

The "fire" was a smouldering garbage can in an office on the second floor.

The fire department told us that the building would not be reopened until the landlord fixed the "numerous fire code violations".

Various co-workers said, "WHAT? I left my keys up there!" I chuckled to myself and went car shopping.

As it turns out, the fire department will allow the building to be open from 9 to 5, so I guess the violations weren't too major. Still, it's amusing to know that I will be FORCED to leave work at 5 up until my last day Friday. I also marvel at how modern society has completely blunted the average American's sense of self-preservation.

Jill Scott hospitalised: As a singer, reading the words "lung infection" terrify me almost as much as reading "head trauma" or "coma". I sincerely hope Ms. Scott gets well soon, as she's one of the classier acts to emerge on the music scene in recent times.

BRUNSWICK BLOWS IT'S HORN! I was all set to make fun of this site for punctuation gaffes before reading the story. Recycled jokes that were stale when Benny Hill used them are piled upon each other in a puerile-yet-amusing mess that's breathtakingly inept and endearing. This gets my full endorsement, folks. Go waste a few brain cells.

Hear'Say star electrocuted on video shoot: From the Merriam-Webster website:

Main Entry: elec·tro·cute
Pronunciation: i-'lek-tr&-"kyüt
Function: transitive verb
Inflected Form(s): -cut·ed; -cut·ing
Etymology: electr- + -cute (as in execute)
Date: 1889
1 : to execute (a criminal) by electricity
2 : to kill by electric shock
- elec·tro·cu·tion /-"lek-tr&-'kyü-sh&n/ noun

Okay, I'd like to extend a hearty "Thank you" to the person who discovered my site via the phrase "Can I watch defecation?" You have given me a good ten minutes of giggly, giddy entertainment.

Wow, it's the last Monday at my current job. Looking around, I see a lot of junk I need to pick up. (I'm not going to be like a former co-worker who left, among other things, an Apple IIc behind when he moved on to another job.) Tonight my wife and I are going to do some prelimenary car-shopping. Right now, we're trying to decide between a Volkswagen Jetta, a Toyota Rav 4, and a Subaru Forester. If anyone knows of a particular dealership in the Boston area that has good prices or financing, feel free to drop me a line. Also write me if you know of a dirt-cheap 1 or 2 bedroom apartment in Cambridge, Somerville, or Arlington.

It's Time for Nudes And Weather: Norway must be one of the oddest countries on the planet. I mean, for reasons beyond the obvious ones.

No Doubt Nab Prince, Dre: Clearly, this is going to be the No Doubt album to buy. I've never been a huge No Doubt fan, but I'm not hostile towards them either. Adding Prince, Dr. Dre, Dave Stewart, Madness, The Neptunes, and Sly & Robbie to the mix is too intriguing for me to pass up.

As a complete aside, how scary is it that No Doubt have been together as a band for 14 years?

Icy Hot Stuntaz: And people have the nerve to ask me why I hate suburbia. I do kind of wonder whose mother they talked into taking these pictures for them, though. (My money's on Blade, since he's "the leader".)

A new day, a new album: I haven't talked about any of the albums I've listened to recently. I should do something about that.

Janet Jackson - All For You
I've read a lot of negative reviews of this album. People are calling it over-produced, unconvincing, cynical chart fodder. I wonder if these reviewers are listening to the same album that I have. I don't hear clinical pandering in this album. I hear Janet sounding fresher and more self-assured than she has since Rhythm Nation 1814. Her singing is stronger, her grooves are groovier, and the image she's putting forward on this album seem much less forced and tacky than she seemed with janet's pained sexuality. The spectrum of emotion is grand, swinging from the carefree summertime disco vibe of "All For You" and "Come On Get Up" to the cold dismissal of "Son Of A Gun", featuring a mildly deranged Carly Simon. The much-vaunted middle section is dirty, sexual, and absolutely perfect. I think people need to get over the shock of hearing Janet say the word "fuck" and roll themselves up in the aural goodness. This is an album that came from a very secure performer at the top of her game. Stop frontin' like you hate it.

DAN'S RATING: GRREAT!

CFAN Adoption Agency: This is frightening. I really didn't need to know what the love-child between Magneto and one of the Powerpuff Girls would look like. I really have no grounds to make fun, considering that I am the author of X-Men fan-fiction archived on this site (or reachable from it), but even I have my limits.

Link stolen from Kathleen. Again.

Hear the new Depeche Mode album: Those of you who haven't managed to finagle your way into hearing this yet have Dotmusic to thank for this preview. Now you'll get to hear exactly what I was raving about.

Moby writes over 100 new songs for 'Play' follow-up: Who does he think he is, Prince?

Tool Tours With King Crimson: Spin didn't have info on the locations or the dates. GRR.

US 'Popstars' show put on ice: [Insert Dan's dance of glee here.]

More birthday wishes: Two more of my friends are officially a year older. One is college roommate Theo, who may be the most brilliant person I know and actually get along with. He's one of those rare geniuses who isn't certifiably insane. (At least, not in a bad way.) The other is Jeff, a close friend from way back (we're talking 1982-1983 here). Unfortunately, he doesn't have a web page otherwise I'd be linking him, too.

The World of Dancing Cats: I like cats. In fact, I'd go as far as saying a cat would be my preferred pet. I think they're extraordinarily cool animals. On occasion, I've been known to pick up a cat and dance around with it.

It NEVER occurred to me that there would be an entire website dedicated to dancing with cats, complete with a FAQ, a history of cat dancing, an online gallery of cat dancing pictures, information on cat dancing classes, information on pre-dance exercises, cat dancing tips, music for cat dancing, AND special Quicktime movies of cat dancing. Oh, and don't forget the animated GIFs!

If I ever do go into the music business, my first video will feature large amounts of cat dancing. Mark my words.

It's official: On May 14, I begin a new job at Charles River Development as a software developer. It's a great opportunity professionally, but I'm afraid I'm not going to have as much time to do blog updates. We'll see how it goes.

On a music-related note, I've discovered a website chock full of amateur remixes of songs from Nine Inch Nail's The Fragile. Many are quite good. (Interesting bit of trivia: ignorantLOSER is actually a psuedonym for "Incredible Hulk" author Sean McKeever. He's got a good ear for interesting dissonance and mixing disparate elements into a cohesive unit.)

IEEEEEE! I now know far more than I really needed to know about Janet Jackson's nether regions.

The end of an era: By now, I assume that most of the people who frequent this site know about the rat-bastards who have hijacked the freakytrigger.com domain name. It's interesting how underhanded, money-grubbing techniques like this can seem funny when applied to a major cultural phenomenon (see survivor.com, although I do acknowledge that their situation isn't precisely the same) but it isn't until they directly impact you or your friends that the outrage sets in. The buffers built into the human psyche are truly astounding.

Anyway. Tom has put up a temporary portal that links to NYPLM and I Love Music, but it seems that CAOTM has also been laid to rest. I'll miss the old Freaky Trigger, but I can't wait to see what shape its next incarnation will take. In the meantime, marvel at the frightening things people want your children to watch, courtesy of Ned.

A moment of silence, please... Christina Aguilera appears to have completely lost her mind. It's always sad when a pop diva feels neglected, but I shudder to think of the depths of psychosis in which poor Christina must wallow in order for her to be able to look at herself in the mirror and think, "Damn, I look GOOD." I also pity the people in the three seats directly behind her at the 2001 Blockbuster Awards, because you know they saw nothing but blonde frizz all evening.